Pandelicious

Travel Stories

A Concise English Dictionary For World Weary Travelers

Airports: This place has seen more heartfelt kisses than most wedding chapels in Las Vegas. A place to stew uncomfortably in while you wait for your delayed flight, it is known for its overpriced food, lethargic but free wifi, ill-designed chairs and a lot of otherwise very attractive people, but all who look like they would rather be anywhere else than at an Airport.

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Backpack: Perplexingly measured in liters, this bag contains a plethora of supplies that a traveler won’t go halfway across the world without. So in most cases people just pack some random clothes that are freshly laundered.

Bus: They are the cheapest way to get from Point A to Point B in most cases, but that’s only if your sole gauge point for value is money and not your time/comfort/safety. Most often colourfully adorned and filled with poultry, they are nicknamed the “Chicken Bus” and can be seen where ever deliciously well- seasoned food is served.

Enablers: These are the people who stumble excitedly in your hostel at 11pm and say “Buddy, we are going to get so drunk you’ll forget your name, our names and your first pet’s name” They make great/regrettable/horrific things happen and you’ll find them when you least expect it, but when you most need it. Never say no to an Enabler because that’s surely more regrettable than whatever thing they’ll make you do.

Home: The exact geographic coordinates of the “heart”. Also where you can find the most familiar pillow, the only comfortable toilet and shower and the best mattress.

LCC/ Low- Cost- Carriers: are the next best thing to happen to Travelers everywhere after Tie-Dye Parachute Pants and Backpack Flags, They save you from having to endure a Chicken Bus for 36 hours and if you time your purchase according to your sign’s most auspicious period, they could be cheaper than your Bus fare too. [syn.: Budget Airlines]

Museums: They exist on a Time Vacuum, and when you allot 2 hours of your time to visit one you’ll unexpectedly realize that one exhibit hall is the same size as 10 Hockey rinks, it could be boring for some but they are undoubtedly one great way to experience a country’s culture.

Passport: The one thing you hope to never lose while traveling, is this little booklet that tells Border Security your identity. Some Passports carry more weight than others, meaning that they’ll let you breeze through more countries without a visa. But it doesn’t matter what your Passport says when you go to Sudan, you’ll still need a visa.

Scam: This is inevitable and it may happen without you even realizing it. It comes in all forms and sizes and sometimes it could appear as innocently as that charming English student who invites you to a dark alley for some tea. The question is, if you paid a few cents more for that street side vendor’s wares- who most likely earns less than 2$ a day. Was it really a scam?

SMW: You may be tempted to think this means Single- White- Men which pretty much says that you are dyslexic and were raised on late 80’s syndicated shows and many sleepless nights trawling AOL chat rooms. But this acronym took on a new meaning when millenials and young enterprising internet moguls sold their souls to Al Pacino after he said Vanity Is The Devil’s Favorite Sin and decided Social Media Whoring is the next best way to rake in the dough without doing menial, back- breaking work.

Souvenir: Those items that you were so proud to buy after haggling for a full 15 minutes only to see it later being sold at a quarter of the price you paid for, you always say that this and that will go to your beloved friends and family but they’re just so darn cute and (insert other excuse here) that you’ll of course end up keeping it for yourself.

Vacation Leave: These precious days are by far few and much exalted. Especially if it has the word “Paid” before it. People dedicate a lot of effort in trying to maximize these few days, so after the Vacation feeling wears off they can be assured that they still have that humdrum but steady job waiting for them after the Holiday is over.

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